So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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