i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
