ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
