Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize