so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
