After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love you. Go after that dick
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
