so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
