Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
