You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
