By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
