i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize