Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
