Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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