Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
