My nipple is on Facebook.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
