I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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