Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
