Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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