fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
