# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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