I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
