I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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