I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
