Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
