Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
