we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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