Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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