96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
