What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
