You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
