Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
