"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you never un-have a 4some
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
