He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
