Don't you send me to vm
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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