whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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