Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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