Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
