It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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