She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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