the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
