as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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