i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
