I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize