haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
