just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize