I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
