you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
