It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
