idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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