I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
