3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
