You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize