I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize