Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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