is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
