I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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