she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
