How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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