i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
