So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
