All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize