So drunk its hurt
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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