She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
