The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
