How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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