I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have feelings that need drinking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
