Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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