i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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