not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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