one two three fourrrrnication!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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