Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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