very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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