We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize