so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
