Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
