the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
