Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
